For just a few bucks, you can see the episode that Davis starred in, “SpongeBob Appreciation Day: Patchy’s Beach Bash!” – do you think my editors will allow me to expense this? is a clip program where theme song performer and side character Patchy the Pirate performs his best-loved SpongeBob moments for Ron, a castaway (Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite). However, if you are reading this blog post, you are probably not interested in that portion of it.

Here are some more screengrabs from the episode that are too surreal for even Photoshop.

Just before the halfway point of the show, an entirely expressionless Anthony Davis (who can be seen in the article’s main photograph) launches himself onto a Lakers-colored yacht and jet skis to the island where Patchy and Ron are pretending to be SpongeBob characters. Following his introduction, Davis beams and waves. It appears that Patchy sent him a note in a bottle inviting him to the SpongeBob Appreciation Day Party.

The majority of this can be seen in the video above, where Davis is vying for a Golden Globe by famously saying things like, “after the party, I will take us all home on my fancy yacht,” and then swearing at “barnacles” and “tartar sauce” when unexpected asteroids destroy his jet ski and yacht.

When shipwrecked singer Meghan Trainor and her backup dancers arrive on the island, Davis is imprisoned there with Patchy and Ron, watching Patchy act out SpongeBob video. At that point, Davis yells, “Meghan Trainor and her backup dancers on a piece of cruise ship wreckage?” That is how exposition through dialogue should be written.

They all carry on celebrating SpongeBob until a quarrel breaks out over who is favorite scene. Davis defends the widely recognized scene in which Patrick Star “loses” his wallet, telling Trainor that “it had relatability.” This is funny when you take into account Davis’s own experience of misplacing his wallet at a Los Angeles movie theater and then finding it again when he joined the Laker team.

Only when Abraham Lincoln (played gravely by former “Daily Show” correspondent Rob Riggle) arrives with a viewer-voted countdown of the top three SpongeBob moments does the tense conflict end.

Lincoln then attaches an engine to the island and drives it away, saving everyone from being stuck with Patchy forever. Yes, everything in this synopsis is true, and yes—spoken to Danny Green and Alex Caruso—after writing it, I will most likely be given a “random” drug test.

Anthony Davis celebrating “SpongeBob Appreciation Day” with Patchy the Pirate (left, in a pirate suit). Image via “SpongeBob SquarePants” on YouTubeDavis argues with Trainor over his favorite SpongeBob scene. Image via “SpongeBob SquarePants” on YouTubeAbraham Lincoln ends the conflict over best SpongeBob scene, unifying the island. Image via “SpongeBob SquarePants” on YouTube

In all seriousness, this special has everything you’d expect for a clip show. Celebrities that sound like they’re reading off cue cards, a completely insane plot and a ton of fun memories about a show I — and likely many of you — grew up loving. I cannot believe I didn’t know Anthony Davis was on SpongeBob before today, but I’m glad I found out, and LeBron James now has a high bar to top with his performance in “Space Jam 2.”